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A prime tenet of collaborative divorce is that both parents have a vital role in their child’s
upbringing, and that each parent needs to be honored and positively affirmed. The familiar question “Who’s the more fit parent?” shifts to “What’s the best way to strengthen the child’s relationship with both parents?” Consequently, the parents should not fear “losing custody” or “never seeing my child,” but instead feel secure in a process that helps strengthen their ongoing relationship with their child. In fact, this process ensures that parents maintain authority over their family by crafting customized agreements rather than having an outside party or court impose a ruling. |
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The family and child specialist (FCC) typically meets jointly with both parents, with other member of the divorce team and even with the attorneys and parents in a 5-way meeting. The FCC’s role is limited to providing expertise in family and child related matters related to the divorce. The role does not include providing therapy or general coaching to the parents nor does it call for giving legal or financial advice. |
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The family and child specialist strives to use affirmative parenting language such as discarding the use of the word “custody” in favor of the phrase, “we both parent our child,” and replacing “visitation” with either “parenting plans,” or the phrase “my son lives with his father part of the week and lives with me part of the week.” It is important to convey that each parent is vitally important to the growth and well-being of the child, who will benefit by having meaningful, regular contact with each parent. |
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The family and child specialist has competencies in:
- child development
- developmental stages
- needs across the age span
- assessment of developmental status
- the impact of divorce upon children
- the harmful effect of parental conflict
- effective parenting and co-parenting skills
- effective communication
- authoritative parenting
- the use of effective discipline.
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Working in an objective and neutral manner, the FCC specialist may assist through consultation, parent education, mediation, or assessment of the children. The FCC specialist may also gather data from collateral sources to assist the consultation. |
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View list of members who practice in this area. |
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